Nyah’s Homebirth February 11 th 2005
Brent:
During the spring of 2004, Becca and I began discussing the possibility of having a 2 nd child. Our son, Sebastian, was already 2 and potty trained, so we felt that the timing was right. Becca has several friends who spoke very highly of the midwife assisted home birth experience. Their stories made a deep impression on her. One reason for this was the bad memories we have of Sebastian’s hospital birth.
Becca:
After the birth of Sebastian, I felt that his birth, and my experience of it, was pretty traumatic. It came to the point were I no longer wanted to go over it in my mind, or watch the video of his birth any more. When we began thinking about having a second child, it was at the same time that a good friend had her second child using Eden Song. She loved the experience, and I asked her tons of questions. When we finally did become pregnant, I called her right away for the phone number to Eden Song. I called and talked to Gail for quite a while. I remember thinking that she sounded down to earth, professional without seeming cold, (as most doctors are), and really nice too! I felt a connection even then, and at ease.
Brent:
I remember the first time we went to Eden Song. We were sitting in the waiting room while Bonnie was meeting with a client. Gail pranced through the front door with an arm full of papers and asked us if we had been helped. We let her know that we were prospective clients and she immediately sat down and met with us. I remember her being a great listener and making a sincere effort to feel us out and relate to us on whatever level we were comfortable. I knew that these were the exact qualities Becca was looking for in prenatal care, so our search was over.
Becca:
My prenatal visits were something that I looked forward to. I took along our three year old to every appointment, and he was always welcomed, and included. Which is a good thing for me! I always felt very comfortable asking any questions, and didn’t feel as if everyone was using some code that I didn’t know when they wrote down my “numbers.” In fact, I learned so much more with this pregnancy than when I used a doctor for my prenatal care. My doctor never took the time to explain anything, let alone get to know me, and my concerns. Also, I felt that Bonnie and Gail, (and the apprentices too!) were genuinely concerned with my health and that of my baby throughout my pregnancy by constantly reminding me about eating enough protein, and probing me about what my exercise and eating habits were.
Brent:
Our due date was Sunday, February 13, 2005. On the Tuesday evening of the preceding week, Becca started having contractions. They were becoming frequent and consistent and she thought it was time. Part of me believed her, or at least wanted to believe her, but the contractions didn’t seem as intense as they should be, from my perspective. For example, while I was trying to time them she would say things like, ‘I think this is one’. That certainly wasn’t convincing, but there was no way I was going to say that to Becca! Anyway, they certainly weren’t going away, so we called Gail. She came out to our place, even though (as we found out later) she was sleep deprived from a recent birth. She checked Becca and immediately gave us the discouraging news that our baby wasn’t coming anytime soon. Coincidentally, Becca’s contractions soon slowed down and we were able to go to sleep. We thought surely they would start back up the next day, but it turned out to be just another day of waiting, as was the day after that.
Becca:
I was so disappointed on Friday morning at my next prenatal appointment. I had hoped I wouldn’t make it to Friday in the first place, and after an exam, we learned that I was still only 2 cm. dilated!!! But, right away I noticed stronger contractions, and the drive home was interesting. I was sure though, that they would stop, I wasn’t going to be fooled again. So, I stopped off for a quick lunch for Sebastian and I, and we took our time. When we got home, I realized that my contractions seemed to be regular so I decided to time them. I lay in bed and timed them for two hours, and they were 7 minutes apart the whole time. I called Brent at work since I knew Sebastian would be getting up from his nap soon, and I wouldn’t be able to handle him and contractions! Brent came home, and we hung out together in the living room. I was sitting on the couch, and my contractions were definitely getting much stronger. I couldn’t sit there any longer, but didn’t feel like walking around our tiny apartment, so I got on my knees and put my head down on the couch. This position was the best position and it really helped as my contractions went from being 5 minutes apart to 2 minutes apart in about 20 minutes! At this point my mom arrived to help out with Sebastian, and my good friend Anna, to take pictures. Everyone was talking and in a good mood. Well, I wasn’t talking, but I was in a good mood! As my pain increased, I went further “into” myself. My focus was so intense that everyone seemed amazed at how silent I was being. In fact, as I kneeled there in front of the couch, my water broke, and I calmly announced it, that really surprised everyone! After my water broke, I could really feel the baby moving down with each contraction, and my contractions got stronger for a while. I moved into our bedroom, but assumed the same position in front of a chair. Gail and Juanita arrived and set up everything. They checked me and I was a 5 and almost completely effaced, so they said it would go pretty quickly from there. I didn’t really believe them though!
Brent:
When I got home on Friday afternoon, I had no doubt that this was the day. Becca was “in the zone” and her contractions were obviously the “real deal”. I just tried to be attentive to Becca, without distracting her, keep Sebastian occupied, and be mindful of when I should call Gail. I was starting to get nervous because Becca seemed to be moving along rather quickly and I knew it would take Gail an hour to get to our home in rush hour traffic. I think Gail sensed my anxiety when I called her for the 2 nd time in a thirty- minute span. So she agreed to head our way. It was great to know that help was on the way, but I was getting increasingly nervous when Becca’s water broke and the contraction intervals were down to 2 minutes. I talked to Gail on the phone again during this time and she told me that the contractions would probably slow down a bit before it was time to push, so there should still be some time. Thankfully, she was right and her and Juanita arrived 45 minutes before the delivery.
Becca:
Gail asked me a few times if I wanted to get on the bed, but I couldn’t imagine lying on my back during contractions, so I stayed where I was, and that was fine with her. Gail also asked me if I felt “pushy”, but I didn’t at that point. I can remember that my contractions were pretty strong there for a while, and then they let up a little. During all this Brent was at my side rubbing my back gently, and sometimes with more pressure. It was just what I needed; his calm presence. And the rubbing was nice too! For some reason, Brent, Gail, and Juanita left the room for a moment, and it was that moment that I suddenly, and I do mean suddenly, felt the very STRONG urge to push! So I did! And I looked around for someone to tell this to, and noticed no one was in the room! Up until this, I hadn’t noticed who was around, or what they might be saying! When Juanita arrived back in the room a few seconds later, I told her, and she called in Gail and Brent. Gail told me that the baby’s head was “right there!” and I can remember thinking that if I let my body do most of the work with the next push, and then pushed as hard as I could, I could probably get her head out. And, that is exactly what happened!! Her head was born, and after Gail wiped her off, she cried! I was still pretty focused at this point, but Brent was so excited. Gail told me to wait for the next contraction, and when it came, Nyah was born! I was so relieved, and excited, and ready to hold my baby! It was wonderful to give birth at home, in my own room. I was in the position I wanted and was able to meet my baby with a calm mind and quiet heart. It was very peaceful. The best part was not wondering what was happening to my baby while I was “busy” with afterbirth procedures, and the wonderful herbal bath!!
Brent:
It would take me several pages to list all of the great things about that Friday evening. Becca was so amazing. I’m sure what she did wasn’t easy, but she sure made it look that way! I think that giving birth in her home, without medication, really empowered her as a woman. Since then, she has a noticeable inner strength, that wasn’t as obvious before the birth and post-partum depression seemed to be non-existent, this time around. Being able to “catch” Nyah while sitting on my bedroom floor, with extremely knowledgeable, experienced, and caring women beside me, was unforgettable. It just seemed so much more natural than our hospital experience. Since the time of birth was 6:43pm, we had a whole evening ahead of us. I made and received several phone calls, was able to carry Nyah around and introduce her to Sebastian, and we even ordered pizza! I was really impressed how Gail continued to talk us through everything, even after the birth, as if there was nowhere else she would rather be on a Friday night. She certainly wasn’t in and out in 15 minutes, like a doctor! As the evening wound down, we put Sebastian to bed, the same was we always do, and said goodbye to everyone, as they left. And then, amazingly we, put our new baby in her bassinet and went to sleep in our own bed. When we woke up on Saturday morning, we felt so relaxed. It was as if we had already had Nyah for a week. People often ask us what we’ll do if we get pregnant again someday. Well, we’ll call up Eden Song, of course!
Becca: Yes, everything was wonderful, and Brent describes it much better than I can. I look back on it all, and feel that it was special time for all of us. I am so thankful that I did it that way, even though I often got the “Are you crazy??” look from people when I told them I was using a midwife, and would give birth at home! All I can say is that, it is definitely worth it!!
Birth Pictures:
